The humor thread (formerly Sunday funny)
“Robbie MacJohnson” Ha!
A preacher was finishing up a passionate sermon on the evils of achohol. “In closing” he thundered, “If i had all the beer in the world, i’d throw it in the river. If i had all the wine in the world, I’d throw it in the river. And if i had all the whiskey in the world, i’d throw it in the river.” Then he sat down. The deacon then came up and said, "In closing, lets sing, ‘Shall We Gather at the River’. "
Over the course of a few weeks, a feud began to develop between a pastor and his song leader.
It began one Sunday morning, when the Pastor preached a message on dedication to the Lord, and how we should allow Him to change what He wants in our lives. The song leader chose as the closing hymn, “I Shall Not Be Moved.”
The pastor thought it may have been a bit odd, but he just shrugged it off and focused on polishing his next message for the evening service, which was on how we can find joy in cheerfully giving to the church and God’s work. The song leader then lead the congregation in a chorus of “Jesus Paid it All”.
Well, the pastor began to sense something really brewing. He wanted to talk to the song leader about it, but was worried in case this might just be a misunderstanding. Come midweek service, he preached a sermon against murmuring, talebearing and gossiping. The pastor then confirmed his suspicions when the song leader announced the closing song, “I Love To Tell the Story”.
How could this be? The pastor called a deacons meeting (of which the song leader was a part) and discussed with his most trusted brethren that he did not want to promote strife in the church, and was considering resigning. At the end of the meeting, the assistant pastor suggested the group sing a song to get their minds of the heavy topic. Before the pastor could say anything, the song leader volunteered, “How about ‘Why Not Tonight?”
The pastor, feeling led by the Lord that he should go somewhere else to minister, announced his resignation after the next service, explaining that Jesus was the one who was directing his desicion, and that Jesus was leading him in a different direction. It was no surprise to anyone when the song leader selected “What a Friend We Have in Jesus.”
Love that people are posting on this thread again!
haha ya this is one of those that never seems to die 
Maybe I should just rename it “The funny thread” 
What do my music reading grade and the first line of the musical staff have in common?
They’re both D.
Q: Why did Adele cross the road?
A: To say ‘Hello from the other side’.
If you don’t get that one, look up the lyrics for ‘Hello’ sung by Adele.
For all you would be pentacostals, some very needed advice.
Hilarious! I think that aptly expresses the state of affairs. God is going to shut them all.
Worship javelin!
Hahahaha! That’s awesome!
So I went to my niece’s graduation around Austin this weekend. On my way back home i visited my daughter in Tyler, TX for a bit. From there, my route home had me pass through Kilgore, TX. I figured since I was wearing my @BanjoBen cap i might could ignore those speed limit sign on Highway 31 and possibly get a police escort through the town. I decided to obey the speed limits and save the special privileges given in Kilgore to Banjo Ben Gold Pick Members (but believe me, my wife heard plenty of comments about me spending through town since I was wearing my Banjo Ben gear)
A Backwoods Texan farmer was being interviewed by a nosy reporter and becoming very annoyed. “So, how many liters of milk dp you get per day?” asked the reporter. “The black or brown one?” the farmer asked. “Well, the black one.” said the reporter. “Oh, a few liters a day.” “Well how bout the brown one?” “A few liters a day.” The reporter looked a bit confused but continued on with the interview.
“So next question, what do you feed them?” “The black one or the brown one?” the farmer asked. “Well, the black one” said the reporter. “Well, He eats grass.” the farmer replied. “Well what about the brown one?” “Oh,” the farmer said, “He eats grass too.”
“okay,” said the reporter now completely annoyed. “Why do you keep asking ‘which cow’ when the answer is the same?” Oh" the farmer said, “the black one is mine.” “Oh i get it!” The reporter exclaimed. “so whose is the other one?” The farmer replied, “It’s mine too.”