Continuing the discussion from Learning to Let Go & Relax While Playing:
Thank you for your response WillCoop It means a lot to me that there is a community that will rally around each other. Thank you all and thank you Banjo Ben
Learning to Let Go & Relax While Playing
4 Likes
Same as wowsie, whoopsie, pickgotcaught, flubdidup?
5 Likes
Any ol’ blurb’ll do, yep.
6 Likes
Great talk. Just what I was needing to hear. Everyday I practice, I say to myself, “I’ll do this forever” and by the end say, “I’ll never pick this thing back up.” I practice everyday, I put in the work to get better, and try to emerge myself fully in becoming a true student of the craft. I’ll never quit, music, it is in my bones. I need it as much as air. But I get discouraged often, and give myself that little pep talk to say “hey kid, be patient, you’re doing good, you’ll get there, but not if u quit.” I can’t walk by my mandolin hanging on the wall and not take it down and run through a song or strum a few chords. I watch videos, read books, take notes, and have sought out local musicians to talk to. I live close to the Ciderviile music barn in Knoxville Tennessee where great pickers with years experience play and chat (and feed u good if u catch’em on the right day). I have done what I can to set myself up for growth as a (hobby)musician and picker. Joining this web site is part of that journey as well. I could read tabs and learn songs before, but felt like a parrot just repeating what I heard. I couldn’t create or improvise and I wasn’t growing. It was like knowing the alphabet and knowing words, but not knowing how to make a sentence. I knew I needed real lessons if I wanted to grow. That’s what brought me to the banjo Ben website, and it has been amazing. So, I say all that, to say this. All that work and commitment, and I struggle to play children’s songs accurately, or pick my way through a song perfect after practicing for weeks. I expect a lot of myself. Often my wife says, remember why u started in the first place, playing makes u happy. But it wasn’t until watching this video that I really made the “pride” connection to my daily frustrations. And that is absolutely right on the money. Pride tells me that since I have done so much I should be better than I do, pride tells me that I should be able to do what all the professionals I watch on YouTube do because I work just as hard. Pride makes me think I should be way better than I am as a musician, and when I don’t meet that obviously ridiculous expectation or standard I set for myself that pride turns to resentment and disdain and anger, and eventually to me saying, I’ll never be good enough so why even try.” Playing a song I have been practicing for weeks, for family or friends, is nerve racking because pride tells me they will be unimpressed by me clumsily clanging through Arkansas Traveler and they will say all the hours and money spent on this hobby is stupid and a waste of time, he can’t even play a song right. And that’s silly, our friends and family love and support us, but pride’s little whispers are hard not hear. But like u said Ben , I won’t be those people on YouTube, because I’m James, not them. And God made me to be me and not them, and that’s okay. What great advise and council. Anyway, A tip for the original question. I record myself often and save the videos on Instagram or YouTube so that I can go back and see how far I have progressed on days when I’m feeling like I can’t play anything right. It’sa great boost u can see in real time. And keeps u from being to hard on yourself.
Sorry for the long post, but thank you for the video response, all the other comments, and the original question! Super helpful. So glad I made the decision to become a part of this community. I know I’m in the right place.
8 Likes
Well I’ve noticed if you go look at a lot of pro players, I’m talking some of the old seasoned players, a lot look very serious while they are playing. I mean no offence to these great players as they are Awsome, but a lot look serious, some down right miserable 
. Only person I can think of from the old players who smiled is the great man himself Earl Scruggs who always looked happy. If you look at JD Crowe for instance he always looks serious as he’s concentrating. Not a contorted face I may add but quite serious. I find if I’m playing something complex my mouth snears or eyebrow contorts lol. So don’t worry I think it’s something that fades with time and experience… Or maybe not There are also happy faced players around. Our own Banjo Ben for instance, Jim Mills, Russ Carson, etc. I guess I probably look quite serious or miserable when I’m playing but I’m having a ball inside. 
7 Likes
You’re right, it doesn’t matter what you look like! I often have a sour look on my face but I know I was having fun, but when I concentrate I lose control of MUH FACE! Haha
10 Likes
James. A lot of good points you made! I too have found it encouraging to use video to track my progress as from day-to-day. It’s difficult to see progress on a short time-scale.
Another observation I’ve made regarding many players but not all, is that their practice habits can be atrocious. To be sure, I know I’ve had to work on mine. For example, one might struggle through songs front to back and fail to set-up ‘loops’ on troublesome measures or parts or allow clumsy habits to form. As a result, they become disappointed at their rate of progress. There really is a “Secret to Effective Practice” that needs to become a habit when we’re alone with our instrument.
Great to ‘meet’ you and Happy Picking to you James!
5 Likes
This was a great read! I really like the quote 'Practice honors the work God is about to do. It is like prayer.” I am already stoked for my next practice session. I also understand the whole falling asleep while practicing with a metronome thing…
6 Likes
Have any of you noticed… as I have been noticing of late… whenever Noam Pikelny plays with someone… he seems to study the other player’s work - during the performance and solos… as they play leads while he is playing back-up.
I used to think he was merely trying to follow along with changes and queues from the other player but his talent is on such another level, I think he can keep up just by ear.
Now, I think he is absorbing with the intent to soak up things from the other person… which is rather captivating to observe. It is like he is not only listening to their solo “voice” but making eye (his) to instrument (theirs) contact.
This also seems to be true with other non-banjo players… that he watches their instrumental Technique too.
Take notice… and I would welcome any comments.
5 Likes
First, welcome to the forum - again… as I think the forum is a GREAT resource. Secondly, maybe I missed it… how long have you been playing? Just curious…
I have been playing Banjo for nearly 3 years and Mandolin for about 1.5 years.
3 Likes
I think self-pride is the big barrier to overcome.
As a relatively new beginner to Bluegrass style and Banjo/Mando… my inner voice says all those things about not being good enough. I struggle with this too.
Side note: I somehow find it encouraging to hear professionals (like @BanjoBen and others) admit they experience nerves… like people on the Voice coaching segments.
Heck, I think I even Del McCoury say he gets nervous on that awesome Toy Heart Podcast (soooo good)… when he plays the Opry after all these years.
Dare I suggest, if Del can be nervous, then this is just normal.
Another perspective…
I think the comment or thought of not being good enough raises the key question… not being good enough - for who?
In this context, I feel like it changes because I have played with a few beginners who - because they are just starting - are not (could not as an absolute beginner) be at my skill level… (even as most real players with experience ARE better than me).
Here is my point…
Never once… did I EVER think badly about the person who was trying and applying themselves to play with me. On the contrary, I enjoy finding the very simplest “common ground” to play with them… to jam in the most basic way.
So… Unless any of us have a real negative experience with someone who is beyond arrogant (AKA - a self-absorbed JERK) - which I expect is exceedingly rare for any true music fan, I would think most “better” players to be far more accommodating of our (limited) skills then we are.
It is hard to separate the feelings of this self-pressure we put on ourselves but I offer this because it may help all of us accept our playing and just move on.
Then, we can play with less fear and feel accepted just for the level of skill we possess… be it significant or simple.
Submitted for your (everyone’s) consideration…
4 Likes
@WillCoop
I played drums for years. I played banjo for two years, then moved on to bass for a year, played ukulele for a year or two, then moved on to the mandolin. I was never really that good at any of those instruments, just liked to goof around on them. I lost interest over time.
I’ve been playing the mandolin since August of last year and this is the first time I’ve been interested enough in an instrument to really buckle down and get serious. I have always loved bluegrass music and just wanted to be able to play it myself and I have found the mandolin to be the one that really feels good in my hands and I just connect with. All my experience with other instruments has helped me pick up the mandolin quicker than a true beginner I’m sure, so it wasn’t time wasted with the other instruments. My problem is I want to run when I need to crawl 
5 Likes
I hear ya, Buddy! I want to get better too.
I like the Banjo 
! That said, speaking for myself, I was surprised just how much the Mandolin captivated me also!
I played trumpet in my youth, dabbled in Piano and Electric (rock) Guitar too… and 2 years of Theory in High School… Oh so many years ago.
As mentioned, I moved over to Bluegrass and Banjo as a 50+ year old… so it is a whole new world to me.
I presume you live in TN from your icon. If that presumption is true, you are in the right place, aren’t you!?
I wish I could connect with a small group to pick… But alas, I remain practicing alone.
3 Likes
That sounds like a great title for a BBC intro to any instrument Lesson! SECRETS to EFFECTIVE PRACTICE ! I think that would answer a lot of questions to any of us newbies .
6 Likes
I couldn’t agree more. I think about that when I watch Aaron Weinstein, Tristan Scroggins, and Chris Thile (and the banjo Ben team of course) on Instagram. They will play a short 30 second clip of them playing an intricate and complex piece of music and almost look bored, haha! It’s inspiring but also seemingly superhuman at times. But once, I saw one where Thile was standing at a music stand, dialed in, playing a single lick to a classical piece over and over in a dingy basement looking room. And I felt like I was seeing behind the golden curtain haha. I thought, hey, I know that look, haha. We only get to see the end results of their endless labor on social media. So much more encouraging to see these virtuosos be just as human as the rest of us. It reminds me that time, practice, and patience is the formula for all of us. And that I’m not the only one that wants to throw my mandolin through a wall sometimes…
7 Likes
THis was great @banjoben
I did not expect to find so much emotional support within an online community - This goes beyond learning music and I must admit it has been helping me deal with my personal assessments and become a better person. Talk abt value for money, what a deal lol
thanks and God bless
10 Likes
Pete, thank you for posting this. You cut right to the crux of the matter and generated some outstanding insights.
Besides, I got the same troubles. I guess instead of secret handshakes, banjo player will use screwy faces to identify one another!
5 Likes
Such a great video of wise words Ben. I’ve been away from the forum a little bit as I’m suffering some health issues at the moment and I’m finding my banjo playing has deteriorated a little. Was great to find this video and listen to what you were saying.
5 Likes
Find a copy of The Inner Game of Music by Barry Green with W Timothy Gallwey and work your way through it. It’s a little skewed toward Classical music, but the exercises and concepts are applicable for musicians in any genre.
2 Likes
Keep it up, Pete! Don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s very easy to get anxious while playing music because we’re putting ourselves in a very vulnerable position just by performing. There are some great replies and practical advice in these responses, and they’re all correct. One thing I try to do is embrace the fear and anxiety. I know that’s easier said than done, but I try to channel the negativity or fear and anxiety, and try to think of it as spontaneous excitement. It’s normal to be nervous, everybody gets nerves now and again. As far as facial expressions are concerned, the best musicians I know make funny faces when they play. Chris Thile’s facial expressions (and body movements) are all over the place when he plays. Heck, even Elvis had that sneer! He’s not a musician, but Gilbert Gottfried used to be so afraid to perform, he would squint his eyes so he wouldn’t have to look at the audience. That became one of his trademarks. Keep pickin’ brother!
-Jimmy
5 Likes