Learning to Let Go & Relax While Playing

[Archie]

Bobble ??? What does that mean @BanjoBen

[BanjoBen]

Hiccups, little mistakes, you know, a jurgle, pignipple, or pompinstance. Whatever you wanna call it.

[Bcaves]

Wow Ben! That was a great response, and I think it will help a lot of people. I play in church almost every week with our band, and I have often talked to people about how in church myself and others get discouraged if people don’t tell us we did a good job. It’s because we practice so much and prepare and we want people to recognize that. But as you said that is absolutely not the purpose of worship. It’s really hard to not have that mind set.

[Archie]

Ok Got it

[petebatryan]

Thank you, Ben. I am grateful for your heartfelt, insightful response.

It’s interesting that you used the example of playing in church. That has been my goal all along. I just don’t feel I’m at a point where I can ask to join the church bluegrass band. My wife says I’m over-thinking it, and that they would welcome me. I’m sure she is correct.

Thank you, again, for your empathy and candor.

[WillCoop]

Nicely done Sir! I am proud of you… as I - only recently posted my first mandolin video in the Cabin Fever contest @BanjoBen graciously provided for us. I have previously posted 1 banjo video quite a long time ago.

Many people posted to win - me included - but something BIGGER started to happen…

Everyone was sooooo supportive of everyone else’s post!

Think about it… It was a drawing, right? So, logically, the more entries reduces each person’s chance to win. However, I saw everyone rallying around others and encouraging them. It felt like a battle cry against this pandemic and quarantine.

I always encourage others with liking many performance posts. I fact, I partially had done so because I, myself… was too shy to post! So, I supported them to have the courage to do what I would not.

Then, it dawned on me… we are all in this Cabin Fever quarantine together. I felt like it was time to let go of false pride, possible embarrassment and shame… to listen to my own advice to encourage so many others and DO what I have asked other to do!

That is when I fought to resist that voice that said, “You cannot learn the song in time” and “You aren’t as good as the others”.

CONGRATULATIONS… you have jumped into the pool with all the rest of us and we welcome you to the party! - TWICE!

I will end this by saying, I was impressed with your speed! Good job! Now, Don’t be a stranger, ya hear?

[Hillbilly_picker]

Continuing the discussion from Learning to Let Go & Relax While Playing:

Thank you for your response WillCoop It means a lot to me that there is a community that will rally around each other. Thank you all and thank you Banjo Ben

[Deere_Crossing]

Same as wowsie, whoopsie, pickgotcaught, flubdidup?

[BanjoBen]

Any ol’ blurb’ll do, yep.

[Just_James]

Great talk. Just what I was needing to hear. Everyday I practice, I say to myself, “I’ll do this forever” and by the end say, “I’ll never pick this thing back up.” I practice everyday, I put in the work to get better, and try to emerge myself fully in becoming a true student of the craft. I’ll never quit, music, it is in my bones. I need it as much as air. But I get discouraged often, and give myself that little pep talk to say “hey kid, be patient, you’re doing good, you’ll get there, but not if u quit.” I can’t walk by my mandolin hanging on the wall and not take it down and run through a song or strum a few chords. I watch videos, read books, take notes, and have sought out local musicians to talk to. I live close to the Ciderviile music barn in Knoxville Tennessee where great pickers with years experience play and chat (and feed u good if u catch’em on the right day). I have done what I can to set myself up for growth as a (hobby)musician and picker. Joining this web site is part of that journey as well. I could read tabs and learn songs before, but felt like a parrot just repeating what I heard. I couldn’t create or improvise and I wasn’t growing. It was like knowing the alphabet and knowing words, but not knowing how to make a sentence. I knew I needed real lessons if I wanted to grow. That’s what brought me to the banjo Ben website, and it has been amazing. So, I say all that, to say this. All that work and commitment, and I struggle to play children’s songs accurately, or pick my way through a song perfect after practicing for weeks. I expect a lot of myself. Often my wife says, remember why u started in the first place, playing makes u happy. But it wasn’t until watching this video that I really made the “pride” connection to my daily frustrations. And that is absolutely right on the money. Pride tells me that since I have done so much I should be better than I do, pride tells me that I should be able to do what all the professionals I watch on YouTube do because I work just as hard. Pride makes me think I should be way better than I am as a musician, and when I don’t meet that obviously ridiculous expectation or standard I set for myself that pride turns to resentment and disdain and anger, and eventually to me saying, I’ll never be good enough so why even try.” Playing a song I have been practicing for weeks, for family or friends, is nerve racking because pride tells me they will be unimpressed by me clumsily clanging through Arkansas Traveler and they will say all the hours and money spent on this hobby is stupid and a waste of time, he can’t even play a song right. And that’s silly, our friends and family love and support us, but pride’s little whispers are hard not hear. But like u said Ben , I won’t be those people on YouTube, because I’m James, not them. And God made me to be me and not them, and that’s okay. What great advise and council. Anyway, A tip for the original question. I record myself often and save the videos on Instagram or YouTube so that I can go back and see how far I have progressed on days when I’m feeling like I can’t play anything right. It’sa great boost u can see in real time. And keeps u from being to hard on yourself.
Sorry for the long post, but thank you for the video response, all the other comments, and the original question! Super helpful. So glad I made the decision to become a part of this community. I know I’m in the right place.

[Jono]

Well I’ve noticed if you go look at a lot of pro players, I’m talking some of the old seasoned players, a lot look very serious while they are playing. I mean no offence to these great players as they are Awsome, but a lot look serious, some down right miserable . Only person I can think of from the old players who smiled is the great man himself Earl Scruggs who always looked happy. If you look at JD Crowe for instance he always looks serious as he’s concentrating. Not a contorted face I may add but quite serious. I find if I’m playing something complex my mouth snears or eyebrow contorts lol. So don’t worry I think it’s something that fades with time and experience… Or maybe not There are also happy faced players around. Our own Banjo Ben for instance, Jim Mills, Russ Carson, etc. I guess I probably look quite serious or miserable when I’m playing but I’m having a ball inside.

[BanjoBen]

You’re right, it doesn’t matter what you look like! I often have a sour look on my face but I know I was having fun, but when I concentrate I lose control of MUH FACE! Haha

[Deere_Crossing]

James. A lot of good points you made! I too have found it encouraging to use video to track my progress as from day-to-day. It’s difficult to see progress on a short time-scale.

Another observation I’ve made regarding many players but not all, is that their practice habits can be atrocious. To be sure, I know I’ve had to work on mine. For example, one might struggle through songs front to back and fail to set-up ‘loops’ on troublesome measures or parts or allow clumsy habits to form. As a result, they become disappointed at their rate of progress. There really is a “Secret to Effective Practice” that needs to become a habit when we’re alone with our instrument.

Great to ‘meet’ you and Happy Picking to you James!

[Dano22]

This was a great read! I really like the quote 'Practice honors the work God is about to do. It is like prayer.” I am already stoked for my next practice session. I also understand the whole falling asleep while practicing with a metronome thing…

[WillCoop]

Have any of you noticed… as I have been noticing of late… whenever Noam Pikelny plays with someone… he seems to study the other player’s work - during the performance and solos… as they play leads while he is playing back-up.

I used to think he was merely trying to follow along with changes and queues from the other player but his talent is on such another level, I think he can keep up just by ear.

Now, I think he is absorbing with the intent to soak up things from the other person… which is rather captivating to observe. It is like he is not only listening to their solo “voice” but making eye (his) to instrument (theirs) contact.

This also seems to be true with other non-banjo players… that he watches their instrumental Technique too.

Take notice… and I would welcome any comments.

[WillCoop]

@Brother_James,

First, welcome to the forum - again… as I think the forum is a GREAT resource. Secondly, maybe I missed it… how long have you been playing? Just curious…

I have been playing Banjo for nearly 3 years and Mandolin for about 1.5 years.

[WillCoop]

I think self-pride is the big barrier to overcome.

As a relatively new beginner to Bluegrass style and Banjo/Mando… my inner voice says all those things about not being good enough. I struggle with this too.

Side note: I somehow find it encouraging to hear professionals (like @BanjoBen and others) admit they experience nerves… like people on the Voice coaching segments.

Heck, I think I even Del McCoury say he gets nervous on that awesome Toy Heart Podcast (soooo good)… when he plays the Opry after all these years.

Dare I suggest, if Del can be nervous, then this is just normal.

Another perspective…
I think the comment or thought of not being good enough raises the key question… not being good enough - for who?

In this context, I feel like it changes because I have played with a few beginners who - because they are just starting - are not (could not as an absolute beginner) be at my skill level… (even as most real players with experience ARE better than me).

Here is my point…

Never once… did I EVER think badly about the person who was trying and applying themselves to play with me. On the contrary, I enjoy finding the very simplest “common ground” to play with them… to jam in the most basic way.

So… Unless any of us have a real negative experience with someone who is beyond arrogant (AKA - a self-absorbed JERK) - which I expect is exceedingly rare for any true music fan, I would think most “better” players to be far more accommodating of our (limited) skills then we are.

It is hard to separate the feelings of this self-pressure we put on ourselves but I offer this because it may help all of us accept our playing and just move on.

Then, we can play with less fear and feel accepted just for the level of skill we possess… be it significant or simple.

Submitted for your (everyone’s) consideration…

[Just_James]

@WillCoop
I played drums for years. I played banjo for two years, then moved on to bass for a year, played ukulele for a year or two, then moved on to the mandolin. I was never really that good at any of those instruments, just liked to goof around on them. I lost interest over time.

I’ve been playing the mandolin since August of last year and this is the first time I’ve been interested enough in an instrument to really buckle down and get serious. I have always loved bluegrass music and just wanted to be able to play it myself and I have found the mandolin to be the one that really feels good in my hands and I just connect with. All my experience with other instruments has helped me pick up the mandolin quicker than a true beginner I’m sure, so it wasn’t time wasted with the other instruments. My problem is I want to run when I need to crawl

[WillCoop]

I hear ya, Buddy! I want to get better too.

I like the Banjo ! That said, speaking for myself, I was surprised just how much the Mandolin captivated me also!

I played trumpet in my youth, dabbled in Piano and Electric (rock) Guitar too… and 2 years of Theory in High School… Oh so many years ago.

As mentioned, I moved over to Bluegrass and Banjo as a 50+ year old… so it is a whole new world to me.

I presume you live in TN from your icon. If that presumption is true, you are in the right place, aren’t you!?

I wish I could connect with a small group to pick… But alas, I remain practicing alone.

[jon1]

That sounds like a great title for a BBC intro to any instrument Lesson! SECRETS to EFFECTIVE PRACTICE ! I think that would answer a lot of questions to any of us newbies .