Forum - Banjo Ben Clark

Banjo jokes

#21

This is a actual conversation I had with a friend of mine after he saw a couple of pictures on facebook of us playing Saturday night and noticed we had no Banjo player with us at the time.

Where’s the banjo player? Did Kevin fire him?

No He showed up a hour and a half late tried to tune and drive at the same time kept turning the car key off.

I made the" Showed up late" comment just being my normal Smart A@@ self and didn’t really think it was all that funny but a lot of other people did!!!

The Banjo player did show up and we had a great jam session!!!

#22

Heard in the Mens room at the RENO Fest Bluegrass Festival Yesterday…

What does a Banjo Player smell like after sex???
.
.
.
Answer, Pepper Spray…

#23

Two banjo players were trying to figure out a way to get rich.

Banjo player 1: You know they paid them astronauts thousands of dollars to fly around the moon. I bet if we figured out a way to fly around the sun we’d make millions!

Banjo player 2: You idiot we can’t fly around the sun, we’d burn up.

Banjo player 1: Sure we can, we’d just have to go at night.

#24

If practice makes perfect and no one is perfect why practice?

#25

Here is my guitar joke …

“I went over to my friends house last night for a bluegrass jam. We had a song going and it was my turn to take a solo … so I did.”

The joke is me trying to take a bluegrass solo =P

#26

— Begin quote from ____

The joke is me trying to take a bluegrass solo =P

— End quote

I’ve told that joke a few times myself!

#27

I’m not exactly sure what this is, but it made me laugh anyway.

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhKob0jQJb0[/video]

#28

— Begin quote from "ldpayton"

I’m not exactly sure what this is, but it made me laugh anyway.

— End quote

Almost like being asked to play “Stairway to Heaven” on the guitar.

#29

What is the difference between where a possum is hit by a car and a banjo player? There are skid marks where the possum was hit.

What do you have when there is a banjo player buried up to his neck in sand…? Not enough sand.

#30

I’m glad to see the banjo-bashing has started back up!

This one may have already been listed, but I’m too lazy to read through them all:
What do you call 1000 banjos at the bottom of the ocean?

#31

— Begin quote from "mreisz"

What do you call 1000 banjos at the bottom of the ocean?

— End quote

I give… What do you call 1000 banjos at the bottom of the ocean?

1 Like
#32

A good start :smiley:

1 Like
#33

BTW thanks for bailing me out… if it had gone much longer I probably would have forgot the punchline.

#34

What do you do when a banjo player knocks at your front door?
Pay him for the pizza.

What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians?
A banjo player.

How many banjo players does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. One to change the bulb and four to complain that Earl would not have done it that way.

How can you tell the difference between banjo tunes?
By their names.

How can you tell if there’s a banjo player at your door?
They can’t find the key, the knocking speeds up, and they don’t know when to come in.

What do you call great musicians at a banjo contest?
The audience.

1 Like
#35

#1 :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:
#2 :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:
#3 :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:
#4 :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:
#5 :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:
#6 :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

All good ones! Glad I play guitar and mandolin.

J.W.

1 Like
#36

Last week I drove to town and parked in a side street. I foolishly left my expensive banjo in clear view on the back seat. When I returned half an hour later, I found the rear window smashed and another banjo lying beside it.

#37

Nice! :laughing:
That may be the best first post I have seen.

#38

That’s a darn good one! I will without doubt be using that one. :wink:

#39

Do you know what the difference is between a harmonica player and a banjo player?

The harmonica player only sucks half of the time.

#40

I had not heard that one, but I should have figured it out.