Well……me and my wife Erin got asked to do two songs at a wedding in less than a month. I am used to playing in front of people because I play in our worship band every week at church but this is the first time I’ve ever played at a wedding so I’m pretty nervous. Erin is an excellent singer so I don’t have anything to worry about there, but I do feel inadequate myself. Has anyone here ever had to do a wedding? If so, how did you prepare? I do know this will be good for me, but I am kinda worried about the seriousness of a wedding 
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Performing at a wedding
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We played at a friends wedding a few months ago. Just treat it like a regular gig or playing in church and be confident in yourself. If you are nervous, it shows by how you play.
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I got married once, NEVER AGAIN 
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Seems to me that every wedding has something the couple remembers for a long time. It might be their vows, or it might be the uncle that got so drunk he danced with the potted palm. So the chances are pretty good that the songs you do will be remembered only for how beautiful they were.
I also suspect all eyes will be on the singer, not the accompanist, so no worries for you!
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Back in July we played a wedding as @Timothy_L said. The part that was out of my comfort zone was my mom (violin) and me (guitar) were asked to be a classical duo for the ceremony. When that was done our band played bluegrass for the reception, which was much easier! I am NOT a classical guitarist by any means and for months I was trying to figure out the guitar chords to Jesu, Thais Meditation, Water Music, Trumpet Voluntary and all this impossible stuff! When it came down to the day the whole thing was being live-streamed too. I was glued to my sheet music which I’m totally not used to doing. 
But I did fine - then the reception was easy! If you’re playing your genre of music, you will definitely do just fine! Playing a wedding adds to the joy and the atmosphere of someone’s special day. Don’t get nervous because the focus of the day isn’t you. A lot of people told us they loved the feel the live music added!
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True words! So are the ones about “the feel live music added!”
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@Bcaves I’ve never played at a wedding or really in front of any audience but I have just had two daughters get married fairly recently. Most everyone in the wedding party and families are most worried about them performing their roles at the right time and not tripping/falling down/standing at the wrong time/etc.
Since more people more worried about themselves, I say just relax and do your best to play your music. They obviously believe in your playing ortherwise they would not have asked. for you to provide your music. Good luck, I’m sure y’all will play exactly how you are supposed to play!
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I bet you did pretty great.
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Scotty you performed at a wedding didn’t you?
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Thanks! It turned out fine.
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If you play worship, then your true audience (God) is a bit more glorious than us mortal folk. You’ll do great!
“Just a walk in the park, Kazanski!” - Maverick
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I’ve never played a wedding, but the #1 piece of advice I could give you is don’t play Banks of the Ohio, 99 Years, anything by the Lonesome River Band…
In all seriousness, one psychological tactic I use to reduce nervousness is to think casual and fun, like the audience is on my side. In other words, I’m not performing for the audience, I’m with the audience just experimenting and having fun. I’m usually at ease, not nervous, when I’m having fun, so I try to incorporate humor when I play or speak publicly, which puts my brain at ease. That might be hard with something as organized as a wedding, but you can still think that way, even if you never tell a joke.
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When someone hires a professional musician they have an expectation of a very high standard of performance. When a friend asks someone to play at an event they clearly think that their musician friend is capable of doing a credible job, but they also have asked because that person’s participation is important to the asker. Being there and being part of the event is the goal, and any minor glitch will be part of the overall memory of a great time. Relax and enjoy!
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I’ve played a lot of weddings, receptions and rehearsal dinners over the years. Prepare, relax, have fun. That’s all you can control. I’ll never forget one time. We get there and set up the PA for an outdoor wedding and reception. My buddy and I had to play some 2-guitar background music for the ceremony which was close to a pond. A couple of huge, knobby-headed geese took exception to us being there and approached making the most awful and incredibly loud noise. They preceded to nip at folk’s ankles until someone finally ran them off. Can’t control everything but that’s what makes the indelible memories.
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@Bcaves, I played at my daughter’s wedding in December. She said she would be happy even if I sounded like a 6 year old, and that she just wanted me to play. I found a couple friends to help fill in my mistakes, but we are all rank amateurs. Well I felt that I fulfilled her requirement to sound like a six year old 
, but no one seemed to notice. Everyone seemed to just enjoy having live music at a wedding.
Also, Dr Josh Turknett, a banjo playing neurologist talks about stage fright in a podcast. He points out that fear causes our brains to shut down all neural pathways other than those used to run or fight. So being worried becomes self fulfilling and causes us to forget how to play. @Michael_Mark ‘s advice is pretty close to what Turknett recommends. Here’s a link to the podcast: https://clawhammerbanjo.libsyn.com/brainjo-bite-5-ways-to-conquer-stage-fright-with-science
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Thanks so much for all the encouragement. You all are absolutely right, it’s not about me, it’s the bride and grooms big day and there is no reason for me to be nervous. @JKL the podcast you posted is right up there with Ben’s video, it is so helpful! And @mharrison43 I like what you said about what I can and can’t control. All I can really do is prepare, then I just have to relax and have fun.
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Don’t feel intimidated just give it your best shot.
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Update. The wedding went well, thanks so much for all the words of wisdom. We had one small hiccup on the last song we did (I can’t help falling in love with you) Elvis did it in 6/8 but the version we practiced was in 4/4 by Haley Reinhart. I started the song in 4/4 but I think Erin had been listening to Elvis’ version a lot. We ironed it out after a couple measures. I couldn’t figure out what went wrong until I got home that night and played through it again.
No one at the wedding seemed to care and I’m not sure anyone really even noticed the mistake. I’m glad I got the experience and I learned a few things that will help me the next time.
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