Three kids with skateboards. Nice paved driveway “hold muh beer” Darwin Award type of stuff.
Fate would have it that I’d cross paths with one of those mean TN wasps. I think the sting is ranked 3rd or 5th in the world for the most painful insect sting. Well it got me right between the eyes at the exact place on the driveway where max speed and curvature occur at the same time…have to really pay attention on a skateboard… I watched it dive right down at me, tried to swat it with my good hand (I’m a lefty) and missed. I then made a “sissy like” swat with my right never expected to swat it with my right but it at least gave me a fighting chance. About the time my eyes crossed from watching it come in was the exact same time it appeared to be the size of a 20ft wide pterodactyl extending out it’s talons to snatch me and carry me off. Oh and at that exact same time I watched the abdomen being pushed forward to insert the stinger. Did I mention I was really supposed to be focusing on making the right moves on the skate board?
If the road rash, bruises, stings, etc just wasn’t enough…the venom from the sting took about 10-15 seconds to enter into my sinuses (yep thing inserted that stinger perfectly right between my eyes to hit my sinuses perfectly) was about the same time I was trying to get back on my feet after the herd of buffalo had just stampeded me. Don’t forget I was on a skateboard through all of this. Notice I said “was”. That venom running through my sinuses instantly felt like I had two black eyes and someone hit me on the head with a ball bat…so back down to the pavement for a second count I went.
Almost forgot about those nice views along the way…views are even better with your kids there all laughing at you sprawled out on the pavement while having a hoot at your expense.