Forum - Banjo Ben Clark

Failure or Win?

#1

I had an interesting conversation with my team during our retreat this week. We talked about those who lay it all on the line to chase their dreams. You see it a lot in Nashville–I’m constantly running into singers and pickers whose dreams of success are 10X the size of their savings account. Day after day they get up and try it all again, hoping they catch a break before they hit the end of the line.

Most don’t make it. In fact, 99.9% don’t. Most end up “failing,” at least when you compare the outcome of their pursuits to their original plan. However, I don’t think any are ultimately failures. I don’t think any are losers. Rather, I believe all of them learn something during the process of “failing” that they could never learn any other way. And in that, they win. They find that the risk was worth it, even if in a way they never imagined.

So my question for you. Are you one of those who laid it all on line to achieve your dreams but “failed?” And if so, what did you learn in the journey that is perhaps more valuable than if your dreams had come true?

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#2

I never had dreams to “make it” in the professional music world. My dreams were more practical thoughts on what I could achieve as a working musician. Most on my life I have played gigs, taught lessons, repaired instruments, did audio engineering and ran music schools. My greatest successes were in my late teens and early 20s musician performing with folks like the Vienna Symphony Orchestra, the Philadelphia Orchestra, singing solo with the Pittsburgh Symphony and even playing in a jazz quintet in honor of the Count Basie Orchestra (we were the dinner music for the Count, Freddie and the whole orchestra and got to hang with them, “lots of fun”). But after that, my attention turned to making a buck the best way I could and that was doing what I mentioned above.

Was it a dream of mine? Nah, just a way of life. And I paid the bills and got and good reputation around my area as the guy to take your instrument to and have it fixed and set up properly. And lots of folks liked my singing and playing with jazz and classical ensembles. Sure, I failed in many ways. For a while, I lived on the street when my house burned down and had nowhere to live. And when I moved back to my home town after college, it was 1982 and the jobless rate was through the roof. Many days I lived on just one or two dollars. You learn a lot about being frugal when you don’t have enough money to eat or have a roof over your head. (I this why I am a fiscal conservative?) :wink:

Pushing 65, there are lots of faster players, many that are much more talented than I, but I just keep my head down, learn from everyone I meet, enjoy my small successes and love the instrument.

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#3

Bingo, there’s a big one!

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#4

I guess I’ve never really chased my dreams. They just happened as part of my life.

I left school aged 16 with zero qualifications. I had several low paid jobs with no prospect of advancement where I was baptised into adulthood the hard way. I joined the army aged 20 and had a successful career as a Class 1 Radio Operator. Promoted to the rank of Corporal after five years, a Section Commander during the Troubles in NI and served out my last few years as a Military Training Instructor training new recruits . Other highlights in my life are my family, Travel to Germany, Holland, Belgium, Paris France, Italy Monaco, Malta, Tijuana Mexico, Coronado, San Diego, L.A. San Francisco, Oakland, California, Singapore and spent 6 months backpacking around Australia. Perth, Kilbarri, Shark Bay Exmouth WA, Cathedral Forest Melbourne VIC, Blue Mountains Sydney NSW, Gold Coast Brisbane and Cairns QLD Flying in a Hot Air Balloon over the Tablelands, Cape Tribulation, Daintree Rain Forest, Scuba Diving on the Great Barrier Reef,

I don’t have a lot, I own a car, my home and my collection of banjos. I never set out to be a millionaire but I guess a million pounds must have passed through my hands over the course of my lifetime.

Did I fulfil all my dreams. I am not sure. Would I wish for more? Nah, now that I am retired I am content with who I am and what I have achieved. I have a few health issues sure but so do many others at my age.

My music is my escape from reality. Starting late in life I knew I would never be great but my banjo does provide me with a great amount of pleasure. What more can a body need?

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#5

Risked it all? Yeah, three times I invested most all of what I had in in cash setting up different businesses I built and made a living from most of my adult life (mostly through my own skilled labor). i’d say all three were as successful as I wanted them to be with satisfying accomplishments, many chances to help others, and the money pile was always bigger than the bill pile and I never needed a lot on the material side of things to be content. Had just enough to survive the stock market crash and still pay all my hospital bills in cash when I became disabled.

I’d say my only real dream was to continue working and play music with a good group of like minded musicians on a regular basis. I did play nearly constantly (performing 3-5 days per week) for about 35 years, but could never hold a unit together for more than Six years. It was a real struggle juggling 2 jobs but mostly worth it at the time.

Now that I’ve retired and have the time, I find I can ill afford to drive 3+ hour to play regularly and everyone I knew has either died, quit music, or moved on to other things. So. I sit & play alone. It feels a lot like failure sometimes (and I get quite depressed), but I’m not sure it qualifies, as I learn something new nearly each day and I still love playing. And I do have a little part time job i can handle and like a lot.

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#6

I had several dreams when I was younger. I left some behind: I walked away from playing in a rock band by choice (although a difficult one at the time). Other plans fell through outside of my control… it looked like I was going to be a U.S. Marine Aviator, but cutbacks ended that. I also had a relationship that I thought was “forever” come to an end. So as far as my plans of younger years, I failed completely to achieve some of them.
Looking back, I thank God that I did. What I learned in the journey is that (in my experience) the goals of my youth were vastly inferior to the reality that I would enjoy when I “failed” to reach my dreams. What seemed like crippling failure turned out to be what was needed for me to end where I would have preferred to be all along. What looked like dark valleys were simply the paths I needed to travel to arrive at mountain tops I had never even considered. It took years to recognize that some of my greatest blessings were in “unanswered” prayers.

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#7

My friend, that is not a failure. Thanks for sharing your music here with us!

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#8

Golly, I never expected “bluegrass psychoanalysis.” But since the subject is “failure,” I guess I’m the Expert, but just a beginner at giving advice.
Most of my life I have looked at chunks of coal & thought “There’s a diamond in there. If I do things right, the diamond will be mine!”
The fact is, it takes millions of years & a lot of pressure to make a diamond out of coal. My dreams needed modifying. That’s when I began to notice every dream has a price.
I dreamed of being a big radio star. Great dream, but the price was to move to a big city market. Eech. I lived in a big city before. That price is too high. Scrap one dream. So did I “fail?”
As usual, G. K. Chesterton gets it right: “If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly.”
This is where the ego gets in the way. Playing banjo is a thing worth doing. I play the banjo badly. But I am playing! If I listened to my ego, I would never endure the embarrassment of having someone look at me while I fumble the five-string!

The whole process of repeated failure is the easiest way of determining what you worship, what you love and what you think of other people.

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#9

Nah @BanJoe it’s just composted timber. Time to plant more trees.

Funny you should mention coal. When I was just a boy I used to think the little yellow metal flecks in coal were gold. My dad put me straight when he told me it was fools gold - iron pyrite

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#10

Now that’s a great slogan for a T shirt

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#11

I have always dreamed of being in a Bluegrass/Country Music band, and those dreams came true in a way when I moved to Wilmington, NC (My first wife passed away unexpectantly and after a year and a half, I remarried and moved to Wilmington from Charlotte, NC. We celebrate our 13th this coming March 7th).

I got involved with a band called Big Al and the Satellites,-we were named that because we played at the Satellite Bar off Greenfield Road towards the waterfront area. Had a great time with the band (We weren’t paid in cash, but in beer (interesting!)), but for some reason, I had trouble with doing lead playing. Every time I tried, someone else jumped in. Discouraged me when I realized that some individuals just have big egos and want to hog it all. Anyway, I eventually made lead singer. The Audience loved to hear my “Fox on the Run” (Manfred Mann), but I really wanted to do my “Blackberry Blossom” and other pieces that I knew. We weren’t paid in cash, but in beer (interesting!).

I still worked for a living (Worked overnight Maintenance for one of the local Walmarts for 5 years, then moved to Day Maintenance for 3 years).

I never cared to do music professionally. However, a couple of friends of mine did make it their way of life-Jimmy Bowen (we played together when we were kids-lived 2 streets from each other) and Rhonda Vincent. I take my hat off to both of them handling a pro career and raising a family at the same time, as well as you also, Ben. Takes a lot of balance to go that route. Like Archie, not sure if I actually fulfilled my “dreams”, but I am enjoying the journey.

And maybe that’s the secret of our success-enjoying the journey and learning about the reality of life, and being a better person as a result. Like Archie Banjoe, Fiddle_Wood and the others mentioned.

I am a scientist by nature (Like you, Ben. Got my degree in Biology at UNC-Charlotte, thought about Plant Systematics in Grad school).

Bluegrass is more in the area of Bolivia-Shallotte than in Wilmington. I do what I can to promote it here.

Robert Funderburk II

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#12

Yes, I have laid it all on the line to achieve my dreams. My dreams were not in Nashville, but I can guarantee that I had those same paralyzing, gut wrenching feelings that a musician might have when trying impress an agent for the first time. In 2004, I sold my lucrative business in Ohio with the dream of owning a campground. I risked everything: my families financial security, our savings, friends, a move to Greenfield, Indiana, etc. At the time, I had 4 kids under the age of 8 with our youngest just 3 months old. I’ll spare all you the details, but I will conclude with this: 1.
We did not sell our business in Ohio on a whim. There was an incalculable amount of prayer that went into it before God put things together. 2. Although I’ve had to learn this the hard way, I no longer define success or failure by how well or poorly my business is doing. Rather, I try to ask myself how am I investing my time; how are my kids? When did I last date my wife? Am I treating people according to the principles in Micah 6:8? Am I consumed with catching up on email and looking at reservations, or have I started my day off trying to listen to what God might have to say? I’m terrible at it, but have made it this year’s goal to be intentional. If you got this far, thanks for reading. (And this was the short version) Mark 8:36

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#13

Love your Scriptural References. Nice Application.

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#14

Love the goal of being intentional… I don’t set New Year’s resolutions, but I do set areas where I want to focus. In 2022, here is my focus:

Wisdom (read/study my Bible)
Strength (mind and body)
Passion (wife and music)
Curiosity (still deciding what I want to be curious about this year)

This year I’ll turn 60. I have more days behind me that I do ahead of me so in looking back, I can’t say that I had dreams where I laid it all on the line, but I am so amazes how God directed my paths all along the way. He actually fulfilled things (his dreams) in my life that I would not have even thought of.

Growing up on a 10 acre vegetable farm in Central Florida, I’m the first in my family to graduate college. I have a very successful career as an Solutions Engineer for one of the worlds largest Technology/Telecommunication companies. But more important than that, God brought a beautiful wife into my life at age 22 and we created 3 wonderful children and 2 (so far) grandchildren and we have spent our entire lives focused on serving in our church. This includes each and every Sunday that I can remember, strapping on my guitar or banjo, grab a mic, and playing and singing to bring honor to God and to be an encouragement to my church family.

Along this journey I have met many, many fine folks (like Ben) in my music and career that I would not have ever dreamed of meeting and developing friendships with. Someone on this thread mentioned learning for others, well I have had that privilege to glean life lessons from some of the best. It is so amazing how God has brought people into my life - from musicians/singers, preachers, evangelist, teachers, business people, travelers, leaders - I have been blessed beyond measure!!!

It is so amazing that when we let God pilot our ship, He takes us on amazing journeys. Some are painful and hurtful, many are awesome, but all molds us into the person we were created to be for His honor and glory.

So yes, I can say my dreams, even though I didn’t realize they were my dreams at the time, have come true!

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#15

What you do or do not do does not determine fail or win. After all, all is vanity according to the preacher. (Eccl 1:1). However, what determines win is the team (Math 12:30, Luke 11:23) you are in. If you are in real Jesus, it is always win! You have to be in to see how it is a win! :slight_smile: Everything else is a fail.

So let not your worldly pursuits, and the outcomes no matter what, deter you from being in the winning team!

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#16

As for laying it on the line, my experience is this.

After learning theory on my own from my 2nd year of college until final year of engineering, within 3 years of part-time experience, I was on the verge of beating a former national champion in chess and lost on time in a completely winning position! That boosted my confidence of becoming a world chess champion one day so I pursued chess after college for 1 year leaving my job. When politics could not let me taking part in the state championships in the following year, I left my chess ambitions. No takeaway one way or the other from that experience. I got a lucky career break in IBM midrange computers after another year or so, and I was satisfied with that. I have my shares of many great “successes” and even greater “failures”, I consider they don’t mean anything. :slight_smile:

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#17

When I first saw this post, I gave it some deep contemplation. In high school I did well in math but I didn’t feel confident to go to college. Upon graduating I joined the service, after 4 years in the Air Force I came home and used the GI bill to get a 2 year technical degree in electronics. I wanted to build and design electronic circuit boards. I ended up working for an Industrial Controls company. I started as an assembler then became a technician and now a technical support engineer. This year was 35 years. Along the way I had lots of dreams and ambitions. My conclusion has always been if I had achieved those dreams then I would have missed out on the life that I am living now. The life the Lord has guided me to now is truly a blessing that I would not want to change,

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#18

I’ve rarely achieved what I was seeking—pathways often became blocked. But looking back I’m amazed at how successful I was getting back up and following the paths that opened instead. And I’m also very thankful that my wife kept me grounded—we always dropped whatever focus we had to take care of family. Which reminds me, @BanjoBen, congratulations on your new addition! Wonderful news!

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#19

This one will require some cogitating. It will be necessary to lay things out in some fashion that balances the egotism and humility. Over the years I’d have to say the losses have been more educational than the fleeting moments of apparent victory. With one huge exception….that day alone in my bedroom just shy of 40 years ago when I began my journey learning of the Irresistible Grace of Jesus. I’m always amazed at the seemingly infinite methods He has for keeping the ego side of things in check and demonstrating His never ending grace.
J

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#20

Oh man, yessir! I’d love to have a cup of coffee and talk about that!

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