The humor thread (formerly Sunday funny)
Ha! Now I am sitting here debating who might possibly be offended if I share it 
Is he thinking of hiring a contractor to do the job?? haha!
On the surface, it is kind of funny to those who aren’t easily offended…but if you begin to disect this cartoon that would likely need to be a series of debates on a whole new thread…
A man walks into a bar with his pet alligator and asks the bartender, “Do you serve banjo players here?”
The bartender says, “We sure do.”
The man says, “Great. I’ll have a beer, and a banjo player for my alligator.”
I used to have that hair cut back in 73.
A new recruit for the Scots Guards
Ouch!
My wife sent this to me this morning:
Dear Tech Support,
"Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems but to no avail. What can I do?
Signed: Desperate
The response (that came weeks later out of the blue)
Dear Desperate,
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command: I thought you loved me. html and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the Tears application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta version.
Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources. In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0.
Good Luck,
Tech Support
I think she’s trying to drop a hint. This Husband 1.0 deleted the NBA and NFL apps a while ago due to disinterest. And the Golf app was uninstalled due to major performance issues. Fortunately Banjo 1.0 was available as a replacement. It has a unique soundtrack feature—it sounds annoying to those passing by but emits only flawless sounds for the user. Unfortunately for Wife 1.0, the Banjo app has caused significant slowing of Home Improvement 10.1. But fortunately for Husband 1.0, Wife 1.0 is a far superior operating system with unlimited access to Patience 9.3. 
Watch out for phishing and scam attacks by impersonators pretending to be Microsoft or Apple, attempting to get users to download a package named BanksOfTheOh1.0.
I like to say mucho to my Mexican friends because it means a lot to them.
Lolzzzz