The humor thread (formerly Sunday funny)
Used to always tell my passengers that when they asked for a ride in my Cesnna 172. Always good for a chuckle.
Nah, the 3 stooges in disguise.
This one hits close to home. 
(Note, the Babylon Bee is a parody news site.)
That took me a few seconds.
CHURCH “INTIMATIONS” ?
You will have heard of the mistakes people make in filling Insurance Claim forms, Well we now have ‘something similar’ from Church Intimations!
The bible class will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet
in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is
invited to attend this tragedy.Low Self Esteem Self-Help Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.
Please use the back door.The minister will preach his farewell message, after which
the choir will sing , "Break Forth Into Joy."
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and
community.Thursday night ‘Pot luck’ Supper. Prayer and medication to
follow.The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the
birth of David, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. A……A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church
hall. Music will follow .At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be
“What Is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir
practice.Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the Church Hall.
Please use large double door at the side entrance.The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who
enjoys sinning to join the choir.Our next song is " Angels We Have Heard Get High ."
Don’t let worry kill you, let the church help .
The service will close with Little Drops of Water. One of
the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the
congregation will join in.14 Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the
addition of several new members and to the deterioration of
some older ones.
The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new giving
campaign slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours .”The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
During the absence of our minister, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon from Rev J.F. Stubbs.
The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister’s daughter, who laboured the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
Twenty-two members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Smith sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.
While the Minister is on holiday, massages can be given to the church secretary
The Minister would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
Thursday at 5:00 pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister.
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.
Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING Conference: “The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals.”
The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility .
This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin .
"Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands."
…
Now that the metric system is in wide use all over the world, we can perhaps see why America have not adopted it:
A miss is as good as 1.6 kilometres.
Put your best 0.3 of a metre forward.
Spare the 5.03 metres and spoil the child.
28 grams of prevention is worth 453 grams of cure.
Give a man 2.5 centimeters and he’ll take 1.6 kilometers.
Peter Piper picked 8.8 litres of pickled peppers.
Those are all hilarious! I’ve seen all the church bulletins before, (and more) but there still so funny I’ve been meaning to upload some memes here, but can’t remember which 
Omw, that’s hilarious
Having been a church bassist earlier this year, I can verify the truth of this link. I made several mistakes playing, and I’m pretty sure no one ever noticed. I don’t know if anyone knows there’s even a bassist except other bassists
Don’t worry, you were heard. I was running sound earlier this year. A lead guitar type of player filled in on bass. He spent 80% of the day noodling from about the 12th fret up. I heard lots of comments. A good, solid bassist is underappreciated. They are seldom discussed until they are not there.