Forum - Banjo Ben Clark

Musician jokes

Here’s a thread to post whatever remotely musical jokes you know. Banjo roasts, bassist burns, viola jokes, even modified blonde jokes will fit. I’ll start with a long one

So, when Berklee college of music started their roots music program, it was a tough sell to the board. They ended up getting approval for a trial period, to take ten students, and all of them had to graduate for the program to actually happen. They had no trouble with nine of the students, but the tenth, a great banjo picker, was just not very bright. He just couldn’t make passing grades even after being there trying for five years, so the head of the program went to talk to the dean (who wanted the program to happen). He said “look, this guy isn’t passing, and soon the board is gonna decide that the program failed and cancel it. So let’s do this, call the guy to your office and ask him a simple question, and if he answers correctly, we’ll give him the degree and get him out of here.” So the dean agreed, and they scheduled a time for the meeting. But word got out what was happening, and when the time came for the meeting, they couldn’t get to the office cuz there was a huge crowd blocking the halls to watch. So they rescheduled the meeting and moved it to the basketball court, but when the time came, the court was packed and there was no space anywhere, cuz everyone wanted to see if the guy could pass. So they moved it to the football stadium, and by this time, famous former graduates who had gone on to become doctors and lawyers were flying back in just to be there to see if the guy would pass. The stadium was packed, and the dean, the head of the roots program, and the banjo player were all on a raised platform in the middle of the field. So the dean very pompously shushed the crowd, and asked the banjo player the question; “what’s two plus two?” The banjo player started to sweat, and frantically starts counting on his fingers. He rechecked his math a few times and then says “four?” And in perfect unison, the crowd erupted, chanting “GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!”


The worst thing ever invented was the electric/amped fiddle. :wink::joy:


This guy goes into a bar and asks this meaty, tough-looking barman if he’d like to hear a banjo joke.

“Sure”, the barman said, “but before you do I ought to tell you something. I play banjo. And you see that big ugly fellow in the corner with the tattoos and scar - the one cleaning his finger nails with his chainsaw? Well, he’s a banjo player too. And you see that 400 pound lump of beer in the other corner with the broken nose, cauliflower ear and ten empty pint glasses in front of him. Well, he’s also a banjo player.”

The guy thought for a minute and scratched his head.

“No, forget the joke”, he said. "I can’t be bothered to explain it three times . . . "


So this pub was putting on a new years party, and the owner had hired a band to play for it, but they cancelled at the last minute. So he frantically searches around, and all he can find is a tubist (tuba player) and an accordionist, so he hires them. Shockingly, the music is amazing! So good that the pub owner asks them afterwards, “hey, that was great, can y’all play my new years party next year?” The accordionist looks at the tubist and says, “sure, on one condition: can we leave our instruments here?”


@Dragonslayer you know the definition of perfect pitch?
You’re standing on a three story building and you toss yer tuba into an open dumpster down at ground level - and it lands right on top of an accordion.


Ha! Lol.
You know how to get a drummer off your porch?
Pay for the pizza he delivered!


That’s deflating.

I played the tuba in junior high and in high school. It took the air right outta me.
I was in the marching band which wasn’t TUBAD.