Reminds me of these bluegrass translations I read on Bluegrass Today recently.
From a guitar player: “I’m more of a traditional guitar player.” Translation: “I can’t play an A minor chord.”
Or: “I’m more of a contemporary guitar player.” Translation: “I can’t play a G-run.”
From a singer: “I can throw a harmony part on that.” Translation: “I’ll be singing in unison with you right in your left ear.”
From a banjo player: “Can you all use a second banjo in your jam session?” Translation: “You’re going to have a second banjo in your jam session.”
From a bass player: “I like to play on the front side of the beat.” Translation: “I’ll be finished with the song while you’re still singing the last chorus.”
Or: “I like to play on the back side of the beat. It’s probably my jazz background.” Translation: “I drag.”
From a bass or guitar player: “I don’t know it, but I’ll follow you.” Translation: “I won’t successfully negotiate a single chord change in the entire song.”
From a fiddle player: “I’ll just throw some fills on that verse.” Translation: “I’ll be playing the melody, slightly out of tune, right over your vocal.”
From a festival promoter: “We’re already booked up for next year.” Translation: “You’re not cheap enough.”
Or: “We’re already booked up for the next two years.” Translation: “You’re still not cheap enough, and I hate your music.”
From a small venue owner: “You just play for the door, but we usually get a pretty good crowd in here.” Translation: “You’ll be walking away with $85.”
Or, just after the show: “Too bad about the crowd. It’s the economy these days.” Translation: “Not a bad crowd, considering the only advertising I did was that small sign on the door with your name misspelled.”