Good thoughts, and I’ll give you some “brief-er” answers. Please feel free to ask more questions or ask for clarification! Let me first say that many of Christendom’s most famous missionaries/evangelists were Calvinists, such as: George Whitefield (Great Awakening), Charles Spurgeon (Prince of Preachers…if you haven’t, please read his evangelistic appeals!), Jonathan Edwards (Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God), William Carey (Father of modern missions), Lottie Moon, and we could go on and on.
So, if these men/woman, whom proclaimed to millions the free offer of God’s gracious salvation to any who would believe and repent, were Calvinists, then we must reject the false conclusions many draw from the doctrines of grace (a.k.a. Calvinism).
Yes, God has elected to salvation (Eph. 1:3-14, Romans 8:28-39, etc.), but has also chosen the means to get them there. Nothing is automatic, robotic, mechanistic, etc. This is a paradox, of course, but we can expect those (Is. 55:8). There will be no one in heaven who did not genuinely want to be there, and no one in hell who genuinely wanted to be in heaven.
Do you mean that God commands what he wants, then brings it to be just as he commanded? If so, you’d agree with Scripture. Listen to what God says to Isaiah, for instance in 46:9b-10:
“I am God, and there is none like me,
declaring the end from the beginning
and from ancient times things not yet done,
saying, ‘My counsel shall stand,
and I will accomplish all my purpose,’”
So is God accomplishing his purpose or man’s? We don’t think God is going to surrender or alter his eternal plans according to a man’s voice, right? At the same time, man is a free moral agent who makes real choices that really matter and have real consequences. Yes, both of those are true, and they must be if we’re to believe the Bible. NOTE: they are not a contradiction, but a paradox. There is a vast difference between the two.
The weighty and mind-blowing truths of God’s sovereignty, that he can do whatever he wants with his creation, is a sobering and tough truth to contend with. I have learned to rest in the tension and to think about it with care. Paul especially knew this. That’s why he says to the objector of these truths in Romans 9:18-20– So then [God] has mercy on whomever he wills, and he hardens whomever he wills. You will say to me then, “Why does [God] still find fault? For who can resist his will?” But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, “Why have you made me like this?”
But listen…I promise that the struggle to understand these truths is so worth it! I know it’s tough, but they are ultimately the sweetest doctrines. It took me 3+ years of intense struggle to arrive there, by the way.
On the contrary, evangelism, faith, and repentance are the means God uses to bring about his eternal plan. All who are to be saved must call upon the name of the Lord. There is no way, on this side of eternity, to know who the elect are. We are to preach the gospel to all creation and trust God to work. Men must believe! They must repent! And if God were not sovereign and gracious to give men new hearts, NONE would believe (Eph. 2:1-3, Rom. 8:7-8, 1 Cor. 2:14, etc., etc.)!
Southern Baptists were historically Reformed (Calvinistic) in their soteriology. Throughout the late 1800’s and much of the 20th century, there was a shift away from those doctrines. However, in the last 20+ years there has been a reversal and now over 30% of SBC pastors identify as Calvinists. We just elected a Calvinist SBC president this week, J.D. Greear, who’s church in N.C. has commissioned almost 200 international missionaries, most of whom have gone to the most dangerous places in the world.
Finally, let me say that though Calvin’s name is associated with a sovereign grace, God-centered salvation theology, Calvin did not invent them. Calvin never knew of anything called “Calvinism.” These truths have been held, taught, and fought for throughout church history (read up on the Augustine vs. Pelagius debate).
Let me know if you have more questions! I encourage you to read “Chosen by God” by R.C. Sproul.