Forum - Banjo Ben Clark

I can't write poetry

For what it’s worth…not all lyrics are poetry, and not all poetry makes good song lyrics.

Like this song I have stuck in my head…“Mahna Mahna.”

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@BanJoe Oh no, not this one…!!! :man_facepalming::man_facepalming::man_facepalming:

“Don’t click, don’t click…”

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@Dragonslayer That’s actually really good! You did a great job holding to the rhythm, and your rhymes were syncopated and not split.

I used to write quite a bit of poetry just for the fun of it. One of my sisters and I made an agreement that she’d never write poetry and I’d never draw pictures and thus the world would keep turning :smile: Needless to say, I can’t draw to save my life and her poems are completely inaudible. :laughing:

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Let me see if I can find an old poem of mine (that isn’t too childish/embarrassing) to put up here.

Actually, I’m going to put out the challenge for anyone to write a poem, however long, and post it here. I know we have some very creative people here (as Gunnar already proved).

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I have written lots of poems since I was very little. I wrote one about bluegrass that won 3rd place out of 210 entries in HSLDA’s 2019 senior age division poetry contest. Now I mostly write songs but I still like writing poems from time to time. :slight_smile:

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I remember that post…
A poem I wrote about bluegrass! - General chit chat - Forum - Banjo Ben Clark

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Thanks!! I have been a poetry appreciator ever since I first discovered Dr. Seuss, (pro: sOYs) and I’ve always disliked arhythmic poetry.
So when I wrote one, I knew what I wanted in terms of format, and was able to QC it. Now, some of the lines have to be spoken with peculiarities to really make it work, but it can easily be found.

This was, for anyone wondering, My first ever attempt at poetry. I’ve written a few songs before, but that’s different.

I just finished a second one a couple days ago, and I don’t know what the format is called, but it’s three rhymed lines, and then one unrhymed that rhymes with all the last lines

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Embarrassing or not, I want to see some of it

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Well, no one asked, but I turned this one into a song…aaf_shifty

On a hill there’s a willow It’s boughs how they weep
So many sad things in it’s memory it keeps
Four hundred seasons watching over the Earth
And all mankind’s sorrows it’s seen since it’s birth

One hundred long years of observing mankind
Watching them get this world in a bind
There’s no understanding the values men keep
That’s why the old willow weeps

While you are wandering on your own way
Have a tear for the children who go to their graves
because of starvation, or beatings so bad
that they’ll miss a lifetime of love to be had

While you’re collecting your regular pay
have a kind thought toward those who have
but a box made of cardboard on a bone-chilling night
and no way to climb from despair within sight

Alone in old age is spent many a year
So many old folks homes are filled with the tears
And the desperate cries of “Please don’t forsake me!”
to the friends and the families out wandering free

On a hill there’s a willow It’s boughs how they weep
So many sad things in it’s memory it keeps
Four hundred seasons watching over the Earth
And all mankind’s sorrows it’s seen since it’s birth

One hundred long years of observing mankind
Watching them get this world in a bind
There’s no understanding the values men keep
That’s why the old willow weeps

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I’ve heard you sing this… did you post it in the lions den?

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i believe I did a few years ago.

I think it was on the previous version of the forum.

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Hey it is about who can’t write poem and I did justice to the topic. With that, I booted out Gunnar for that claim! :wink:

Actually, the thread is titled thus after the fashion of the title of the poem. It’s not actually named for the ability of the potential poets.

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OK. The non-wordsmith is now afraid of putting the title on the line! :wink: (If you don’t believe me, check out page 1/3 of his poem.)

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Here’s one of two. This one is actually pretty recent.

If immortality were a prize
That any man could win,
They why would God send down His Son
To pardon human sin?

T’would not such lofty sacrifice
Be all but vain display,
If Man could accomplish by his might
To take his sin away?

But God, in mercy so divine,
Knew that it could not be,
For none can pardon Mankind’s sin
Save Him on Calvary’s tree.

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And here’s the second. I don’t typically try to follow any rules or decorations of poetry, but I challenged myself to specifically for this poem. It has alliteration, assonance, onomatopoeia, personification, and a simile. This was a school assignment, and I had to write a poem that was as intensely full of imagery as possible. Trust me, I’m not usually this creepy of a writer :joy: Can you figure out what it’s trying to depict?

The groan of chains and Lo!
The lantern rises,
Shedding light on that which
Lurks beyond…

The whispers of a thousand
Phantom figures,
Materialize from mist and then,
Are gone…

The darkness, rising higher
Spirals downward,
The musty air oppresses
Like a weight…

The stench of human misery
Encompasses,
And keeps the dungeon stale,
In ripe decay…

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You’re a better poet than Gunnar.

:joy:

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Tornado?? I don’t know…

But wow… great stuff, @theCrazyEight !

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That isn’t saying much :joy:

Uh huh, sure.

Intense desire for wine?

Based on what I know of you, and the context of the previous one, I’d say sin?

Those were really good!

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A haunted castle?

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