So yesterday I drove a couple hours to go to a bluegrass fest here in Wisconsin…and being the cheapskate that I am at times I volunteered a couple of hours working in the souvenir stand. The music was amazing and they had an hour or so of an open jam that I, nervous as a hooker in church, went to. This is the FIRST jam session I’ve attended that wasn’t part of an academic setting (like @BanjoBen’s Cabin Camp that I did in April) or the bluegrass jam class that I am attending currently. Suffice it to say that it was a humbling experience…I could follow the rhythm and provide a good “boom chick” chop and led one song and simple solo…but that was after a LOT of passing on solos because I didn’t know the songs and I couldn’t fake them very well. Well, it turns out that of the 12 or 13 people in the jam a third of them were from the bands performing on stage! Good grief. Oh well, I enjoyed the music and took some notes of the songs they played…to add them to the very long list of bluegrass tunes I want to learn to play (by ear). And what’s with all this singing? Ah well, it was fun.
Humbling But Fun
I feel your agony. Recently I’ve had similar experiences, except I wasn’t as “nervous as a hooker in church.” I was more like the hooker’s customers in church, just waiting for the “congregation” to find out what a phony I was. Turns out, it really is all about “making a joyful noise.”
A couple things I picked up include ;
a) Without a lot of practice, it’s hard to play & sing at the same time, so don’t be shy about NOT playing when you’re singing. Pay attention and you’ll be surprised at how many pros don’t play when they are singing.
b) It’s best if you have the words memorized, but it’s OK to read the lyrics when singing if you must.
c) Nobody cares if you are a lousy singer. Be an honest singer.
d) Mind your timing! It really is the most important thing.
e) Learn G, C & D guitar shapes, and watch the guitar player to know when to change chords. It works even if you don’t know the song.
f) Solos don’t have to be fancy. Playing the right chords at the right time with the right tempo can often make for a decent solo break.
g) Everyone else in the jam has been in your position, even those “stars” that are performing on stage. They often have the most appreciation for what you are working so hard to perfect.
Just stay in time…and keep having fun!
Agree with all your points, just a note on point ‘e’:
(Especially regarding following along w songs you do not know/never heard or played before etc (ie: ya dont know musically where the tune is headed…))
Be ware of the ‘tricky’ guitar capo keys. As in when they’re capoed at 2, and you think they’re going to be playing in A, but nope, they’re actually playing in the key of C position to = key of D — or they can be (still capoed at 2) playing out of the D shape to = they key of E. Those two are the most common I’ve come across, though there’s alot more of these options that capos offer.
Perhaps it’s not quite so tricky for other instruments that are also using a capo, just follow the chord shapes the guitar player is making…
On mando (like @ScubaNut2014 & I) or fiddle it’s a little different - & you have to keep track of it differently since we don’t use capos - I like the NNS for that reason - I assign (in my mind) the “shape” the guitar player is using with its Nashville Number, then transpose it to what key you are supposed to be playing in, and then play the corresponding chord on my uncapoed instrument. Takes a bit to get really slick at that, but as with anything, the more you do it, the easier it becomes.
Hopefully i didn’t just give the most confusing explanation possible, which is entirely possible 
. It’s definitely a tool you need in the kit when out playing with others.
Thanks for the reply. I struggle with timing…but so does my music teacher!
When he’s playing a rhythm while I pick something he often speeds up and then we have a good laugh about it and try again. I know a handful of guitar chords and that’s how I got by yesterday…watching the lady across from me. I know what chords go in the common keys, too, but when the banjo guy wanted to play something in B-minor I just listened. I appreciate the rest of your advice also. You hit the right note: Keep having fun (and I will!)
Ron
And this brings me to Point h) - Sometimes you just gotta know when to sit this one out! 
Oh yeah! Nah, this is all good. I went to Cabin Camp in April at @BanjoBen largely to get over the fear of playing in jam sessions. That helped a lot…I’m confident in my jam class but this jam yesterday was enough to humble me right out of the game. But NO, I am not gonna do that…I’m sticking to my guns and gonna keep playing and having fun. My goal is to return to the festival in a year and be able to play more songs, pick more solos (basic is fine) and bring a tune to play. It’s all good. I just with my Dad was still here to play with me.
I understand that. I actually had some experience with that the other night when we were playing in A (in my jam class) but the guitars all had capos. I did exactly as you said…I assigned the NNS to the chord shape they were using and was able to keep up. In actuality, once I got the gist of the song I simply made the chord changes when I saw the guitars changing chords. Did the same at the bluegrass fest jam…I may not have known the songs but once they said what key we were in I had it…even on one song that started on the 4 chord. Ah well. Like I said, it’s all good! Just finished an hour of playing on the patio here and my fingers are sore!
Awesome! Keep at it 
!
Me too!!
I ventured out to a jam this weekend. It was fun, but I felt in over my head 75% of the time.
It will take a long time to be able to be ready to play all of these… (many I have never heard of)…
On and on
Clinch Mountain Back Step
Columbus Stockade Blues
Old Joe Clark
Soldier’s Joy
Faded Love
Banks of the Ohio
Crying My Heart Out Over You (Ricky Skaggs)
Love Nobody??
Me and Becky
All I ever loved was you.
Golden Skippers
Cherokee shuffle
Buffalo Gals
Rock that Cradle Joe
Blueridge Cabin Home
Angeline the Baker
New River Train
Thanks for sharing this list! Many of these were played at the jam I wrote about…I did not know most of them either!