I hope you’re wrong, too. But there’s an old expression that sorta fits.
“You can’t cure stupid.”
Army in '77 eh? My old friend happens to be an old girlfriend. She married a soldier who was supposed to be a top paddler in the military. He & I were going to enter a major canoe race, but a few weeks before the event, he broke a wrist in the car behind a two-car traffic accident. His name was Chris Morton. He passed about year ago from the same thing that got Robin Williams-Alzheimer’s with Lewy bodies. Nasty stuff.
And for what it’s worth, “Local Hero” is our favorite movie!