I need some advice, encouragement or some new fingers. Ha
Seriously, I started taking a jam session class and last night was the second class of 7 and Im not sure if I can make it through. First class i did a basic alternating rolls switching chords. Last night I thought I would try some other rolls. But my timing is off, my rolls are getting confused with some of the chord changes. The group is all beginners but I feel lost and the pressure is mounting to lead and sing and I feel far from that right now. Its very discouraging. I sound decent at home but I dont have anyone listening either.
Advice
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Don’t give up, @Richard621. I know it’s frustrating, but what you’re doing is the best way you can improve, assuming the folks there are kind and helpful. Just share honestly that you’re not comfortable to lead/sing right now, and observe what the others are doing. Ask questions. Stay at it.
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I will try. It felt like all the practice and knowledge went out the window as soon everyone started playing.
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It gives me newfound respect for my kids that played in band and performed at concerts. Im not afraid of speaking in public, why is this different?
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@Richard621,
As Archie recommended, Ben does a great job explaining stage fright in that video. Here’s another link that is helpful: https://youtu.be/PKigoYmZwTU?si=m7SkZeF0DgAlkXkh
This is a neurologist that actually explains why the results from practice seem to disappear when performing for others. Turns out it is a perfectly natural result of feeling fearful—your brain shuts down all neural pathways except those that support fleeing or fighting. The key is to remove the pride (as Ben points out), and realize that folks aren’t judging you. Keep at it. We all go through it. Just start viewing performances as part of a lighthearted journey. Take care.
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FWIW-We all know the feeling too well.
What helped me was not playing, but listening.
I would imagine I was playing, and as I listened I would start to anticipate the chord changes. Then I would imagine what licks I would stick in . And listen some more.
When you aren’t playing with others, play with your favorite recording.
And remember, there are no mistakes, only “creative interpretations.”
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Thanks guys. I appreciate the support
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It is my firm belief that to be nervous when performing publicly is to be human, pure and simple. I truly sympathize with your experience as I’ve lived this challenge myself as well. That said, sometime last year after starting my journey of study here, I started keeping a log of the various things I’ve been learning and working on sourced from both here and outside of the BB site. My notes also include random thoughts that I encounter along the way; helpful little hints and advice to myself that I refer as my musical epiphanies. After a time, I came up with one that I felt so important, I had to place on a Post-It note so I could add it to the very beginning of my log. It’s a thought that just helps me relax every time I read it. Marley had his three little birds, I have my three little words. Play With Confidence. A subtle yet direct reminder that everything’s okay, that I am okay, no matter the situation. I can’t even begin to describe the boost to my psyche when I come across this little reminder that “I can do this”. Good luck on your journey. I hope this helps.
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I can’t really top any of the advice given in this thread, especially Ben’s old video! But I will add one thought that helps me relax and enjoy playing in front of others: don’t think of yourself as the scrutinized performer who must be perfect, think of yourself as the first member of the audience. View it as something to enjoy: all the tones you can explore, or the parts of the music that you really like. It’s hard to be cripplingly anxious when you’re having fun. When you stop viewing it as a scrutinized performance that you must present perfectly because of fear of man, and instead view it as a moment to enjoy on the same side as the people you’re playing for, it really helps you relax and enjoy it more. Most people will not care when you mess up, especially if you come off very humble. And if you learn to laugh it off, it will probably not bother you as much when you mess up.
I’ll also add that if people DO think ill of you as a person because you mess up, well, joke’s on them, you don’t have to be crushed by that because God loves you.
I have played with some musicians who seemed to kind of think they were something, and their jam group was something, and I ALWAYS get more nervous in these situations because I feel as if I have to prove myself to them. On the other hand, I have gotten the privilege to play with some of the most skilled musicians alive who were humble, friendly, and Spirit-filled, and I hardly felt an ounce of nerves. I think I know why: because they weren’t just doling out respect to people based on how impressive their playing is. They were showing the love of Christ to people because Christ loves those people too, and they want to be like Him.
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Well said, my friend!
Mr g
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@Michael_Mark, I love this. Outside of The Bible, I believe this is going to be the best thing I’ve read all week. Thank you!
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Wow. I was busy with family the last few days and didnt read all the comments. But, Michael Marks comments just hit me. I prayed to God last night to please speak to me again. He has guided me before but not recently. I have been through so much the last 3 years with health scares and betrayal and trying to recreate a different life at an older age that I keep working on. Like I said on my first session at this jam I was there for the social as well as musicality aspect. There are so many studies that say music helps heal the soul I dont want to quit now.
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